a prelude to of life and of love

i feel sad today.
and i know i should not be. probably the events and talks from last night made me feel this way. i visited the wake of my good old friend's dad last night. i had the opportunity to talk with his wife (my friend's mom) and i felt the pain and sadness despite her calm composure and so with hearing his younger sister's recollection of what had happened.

then i met eryl at the same place and we talked of good times, our heartaches, of sadness and of pain too.

when i arrived home, i felt sooooo sad :( like a sponge, i absorbed every sadness and pain there was that night. and i cried myself to sleep. not because i have to but i need to.

and when i woke up this morning, i still feel sad. i did not want to get up but i had so many responsibilities at the office, i could not disappoint them just because i felt like this. i had to force myself to get up. and there's the party tonight which i did not feel going to anymore (and i've been excited about it since monday..)

sigh..
i realized it was good of me that i did not become a psychologist nor a guidance counselor. who knows what would have happen to me..

sadness is, well, a sad thing.

sigh..
im writing this two blog entries because im hoping this would help me. i just dont know if it did..