halu-halo ispisyal

like the filipino specialty, this entry is a "halu-halo", in a sense because it is a mixture of emotions: sadness, joy, of relief & of realizations.

lately, i've been acting like a villainous goddess (i was thinking of the word "monster" but it doesn't seem to fit me at all. let's think of hera here..hahah!)
i've been wasting my intellect on the most petty things. i've shed tears for times it was not needed, gave in to suspicion & doubt when it was uncalled for and i have suffered when it was unnecessary. i have realized the foolishness of what has been. as i've said, there had been changes that i have not prepared myself but i am willing to work on it.
lets just say, we both deserve it.
*wink wink*

*****

i've read some good stuff about writing ( i might share some with you some time): about a writer's
life, the words he creates, the world they form & the imagination they build and the acceptance of their difficulty to write at times. i asked myself: am i a writer? do i have what it takes?
i have been often told that i have the gift of putting things into words. do i really now? yes, i write: technically (research, descriptive essays, arguments) and creatively (short stories, journals). back in high school, i was a budding writer of short stories. i recalled i had this particular notebook for my "silly" stories. i call it silly because they were frequently about falling in love, friendships, crushes, boy-meets-girl and the like. my bestfriend tiny & i used to discuss our so-called plots late in the afternoons and would get "kilig" just talking about it. i'd usually feel pumped up whenever a new idea comes into my mind. i'd write profusely for the next few days and after that, my interest would dwindle and be eventually lost. that is why, i never took my writing skills seriously. not eeven in college. i confined my gift to the privacy of my journal. i never regretted it though. call it selfish but i chose to share my gift to people whom i care the most. i still believe i am an "incidental" writer. i don't write for deadlines and i don't fret about grammatical errors!
but why do i write?
because i want to. it makes me feel alive. whenever i write, i feel connected with my mind, my heart and my soul. it may not be the best literature but for me, every piece i've created is a manifestation of my gift. that is why, i have chosen to share my gift of words to people whom i know need it most. if someone reads my blogs even out of curiousity, it is enough for me.
because you have chosen to share your time, with my mind, my heart and my soul....

*****

allow me to make some greetings here: congratulations to the graduates of 2007 especially to the "loves" of my life, yos (hahah! cornyha oi...) and to the regcom vols who also graduated, nyo, pansit and everyone...thank you for being part of our lives. lots of luck in the real world :)